One day, Buddha was walking through a village. As he was walking down the street, a very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him, saying all kind of rude words. He was shouting a lot of abuse at Buddha, saying "You're a disgrace, you're a scam! Who do you think you are? Going around, teaching other people how they should live their lives. You think you're some sort of Master or something?"
Buddha was not upset by these insults. He carried on walking and the more Buddha would carry on walking, the more frustrated this man would get, until he finally approached him and asked him “what's wrong with you? Why are you not reacting?” Instead, he asked the young man, “Tell me, if you give a gift to somebody, and that person does not accept it, to whom does the gift belong to?”
The young man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, “I don't get why you're asking these stupid questions. It would belong to me, because I bought the gift.”
The Buddha smiled and said, “That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then, the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself. It doesn't matter how angry, how frustrated you are, you can say whatever you like but if I don't accept your words, that anger, that frustration only belongs within you.”
I wanted to bring this story here because I’ve recently had the occasion to experience something that proved to me this is a very true and practical tool to apply in everyday life, not only a nice story.
The story I want to share with you next, happened in the same day that I was experiencing with the “How does it get any better than this” mantra. I was in a kind of a joyous flow, moving about with my day, experiencing little miracles along the way. In the middle of all those beautiful synchronicities, something dissonant and puzzling happened.
I got off bus number 9 at Monks Cross and I had about 10 more minutes to walk to my next meeting. My inner state was good, joyful, I was grateful for the gentle breeze blowing through my afro, whilst the sun was kissing my face.
I was just walking past the Shopping Park, when I saw a man in his thirties, dressed in a suit and a long, black coat. I noticed he was starring at me. I looked at him, briefly trying to figure out if I knew him from somewhere. He didn’t seem familiar, and I just continued walking, despite him starring. The moment I passed by him and I couldn’t see him anymore I heard a very rude, sexual swearing. He said, "I'd fuck you and pull you by that sexy hair. Wouldn't you like that, you cunt?"
We, Romanians, have a very colourful and rich vocabulary when it comes to swearing. I am not a prude. I like making jokes about that, but this one was really strong, out of the blue and the tone of his voice was very determined. He was not joking. I didn’t stop or even look back. The first thoughts that came to my mind were : “He must be really troubled or nuts….he must be in a deep suffering or need if he just said that… .” And I admit, for a few seconds I was afraid he might follow me. But he didn’t.
Society tends to put the blame on us because, as women, when we’re targeted with that kind of “gifts”, they tend to think it has something to do with us. "What was it in your energy that attracted this "gift"? What did you do? What did you say? Maybe you dressed too provocatively, maybe you have the wrong attitude walking down the street, maybe your hairstyle should be more humble"... and the whole lot of deprecating stuff they say to us.
He didn’t seem like a poor, drunk or drugged homeless person that you sometimes see in the streets yelling and swearing at everyone. He seemed like what we usually accept as a “normal” working, person. But who knows? I will never know what his problem was and I don't intend to. It’s poor, misguided people that have no other thing better to do than be jerks.
The thing I want to stress here is that, just like in the story of the Buddha, I didn’t accept his “gift”. I actually felt sorry for him. I didn’t feel like his words had anything to do with me, although he was looking at me and he addressed them to me.
And looking back, he actually gave me something precious: he gave me the opportunity to experience for a tiny bit, what that Buddha story said. And I felt great noticing that I didn’t allow that to change my vibe, to change the joyous state I was in. I continued going about with my day, asking the Universe, “how does it get any better than this” and I continued enjoying the little miracles that kept appearing in my way.
I feel that every day we have so many people around us, bringing us gifts that are sometimes hidden in an ugly package. Or some are nicely packed, but inside, there are rotten apples.
If it’s one thing I would like you to take out of this, is to remember that you always have a choice. You can accept or not accept these gifts. As simple as that. It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to has power over you, if you allow it. You decide.
No comments:
Post a Comment